About Me

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I'm all these things in no particular order: human being, woman, Mother, wife, house maintainer, daughter and overwhelmed. My motto is "live life outloud". Keep keen your sense of humor. One day it'll be the only thing that keeps you sane.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Colors, the colors!

I feel kind of guilty about posting this just because the amount of money I've spent on this but I am going to anyway.

I have a nail polish obsession. It's something I have collected and used for forever. One of my friends said, "It's like owning a piece of the rainbow. How COULD you resist?". With that sort of reasoning, I'm presenting you my nail polish collection with the brands and names listed below, left to right.

Abbreviations used: SH=Sally Hansen W&W=Wet N' Wild, SC= Sinful Colors

an * (asterisk) means it's a favorite and ** means I have a note about the product. See after photos to read.






Top Coats:

Orly Won't Chip, INM Out the Door, **Seche Vite, SH Strengthening Top Coat

Seche Vite - I LOVED this product. It dries your nails fast and makes them nail salon shiny. For me, it has two downfalls. 1.) When it chips it will basically peel your whole nail polish coating off your nail. Which is actually kind of fun, but not when you've worked hard at a manicure. 2.) The bottle of product starts getting really thick, goopy and unusable (IMO). They do make a product that you can drop in there, like a paint thinner, but I don't feel like I should have to spend another $7 to fix a problem with the $7 top coat I purchased. Sadly, it does not work for me anymore and I will not be repurchasing.


Glitters:

SC I Miss You, SC Pinky Glitter, *NYC Starry Silver Glitter , Essense Space Queen, *Pure Ice Spit Fire, **Milani Gems

Milani Gems - it's a cool polish but to get a good amount of glitter on your nail you're going to have to do the "dip and dab" tequnique to get it on and then you have a big gob of polish.

Not otherwise classified:

Shown above: all Revlon limited edition glitter duos.
Galactic, Supernova, *Orbit, **Satellite

Favorite: Orbit. Lovely ultra dark purple that makes the lavender flakies a star.

Notes: Satellite is a nice combo - BUT - it reminds me so much of Christmas. It's a maroon with gold flakies which is lovely, but not for summer. I'll keep it around until winter to see if I feel differently in the winter months.

Two things that all 4 of these polish duos have in common are 1.) the base coat KICKS ASS. So much ass it kicks that I wish Revlon would reintroduce all the bases into their normal polish line. Nice brush, no streaking and they're pretty much usable with one coat. Two would (always) be best, but you could totally get away with one. 2.) The glitter/flakies dry out super fast. As impressed as I am by shiny things (glitter!!) I expected more.





Purples:

SH Lively Lilac, SC Lavender, Essie (name rubbed off)


WOW. Those are PINK!

SC Dream On, SH Xtreme Wear Bubble Gum Pink, SH Instant-Dri Speedy Sunburst,
SH Xtreme Wear Twisted Pink


Muted Pinks:

W&W Undercover, SC Starfish, Revlon Flirt, SH Smooth Perfect Satin


All of the above are OPI:

It's All Greek to Me, That's Berry Daring, *Cha-Ching Cherry, Pinkticularily Pretty, Flash Bulb Fushia


Nudes:

OPI Suzi and and Lifeguard, SH Nailgrowth Miracle Mighty Mauve, *L'oreal Mauvelous, Essence Modern Romance, Essence Sweet as Candy



Reds:

Revlon Frankly Scarlet, L'oreal Rendevous



Black and Dark Silver:

SH Magnetic Silver Elements, L'oreal Owls Night, OPI Lucerne-Tainly Look Marvelous


And folks, that's all she wrote.

Monday, August 20, 2012

Whoa there! Slow down.

I had my brother and his wife (I still call her my sister in law, is correct? I don't care either way) in town so I've been busy having fun and remembering why it's not so easy to drink, even a couple glasses of wine, anymore without a hangover. WHAT.IS.UP.WITH.THAT?!? Seriously, ya'll, I had 2.5 glasses of pinot grigio on a Saturday night, stay out until 10:30pm and then my headache hangover started at 1am and made me real cranky all of Sunday. I made it though, did a damn good job of it, too.

I've got a list of things to do today and tons of laundry was one of them. I was texting my Mom all of the things I have to accomplish and what I had done and what I had left to do and how I am seriously sleep deprived and she said something so simple, "so stop obsessing. Take control of being in control". It makes sense and so I shall. I just ate lunch, I'm writing this blog and I am going to cross two things that don't HAVE to be done today and can wait until tomorrow. It would also make sense to take a nap but I cannot. The GO button has already been pressed and it's not going to turn red until 8 pm tonight.

We're leaving for Branson on Friday for a long weekend with my parental in-laws, my other sister in law, her Hubby and Henry & Lucy's cousin. All I can think about is making lists and when am I going to have time to pack for three people and blah blah BLAH BLAH blah blah blah.

Sigh. I wish I could be deprogrammed to be this way. Actually, I AM working on it. I know I have a problem. I'll acknowledge that and laugh about it because what else can I do? Crying and feeling helpless is NOT an option or a road I want to go down anymore. Recognize your faults, work on letting go of some things and let God take them.

I even set an alarm on my IPhone to remind me to get ready for bed at 8pm and then set a timer for 30 minutes and after I get ready for bed, in jammies, face clean and outfit out for the next day I am supposed to turn off my computer, sit my phone down and try and sleep. I think I am becoming compulsive about this timer and alarm thing...maybe.

Thank you, Momma, for reminding me that it's okay to let some things go, relax, take care of yourself and not feel guilty about doing those things. Previously I had called myself lazy for doing that before everything was complete. Had to have a little chat with God, which I had forgotten to do today, and am now feeling better.

I am always so very hard on myself. Not constructive to being a good Mom, wife, friend and most importantly, HUMAN BEING.

And thank YOU, blog friends, for listening to my psychological rant. I feel much better now.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Banjo

**originally written on 8/16/12. I thought, "what a geeky thing to write about!!", but since I'll be in Branson, MO Friday-Tuesday I think now it's appropriate. I just found out there is Fiddle Festival this weekend in downtown Branson and I'd love to go and take my kiddos! I know they'd love it and I know I would too. My maternal biological grandfather, who I sadly only got to meet one time before he passed, was a bluegrass musician. Maybe it's in my blood?

I'm very emotional today and not necessarily in a negative way, just sensitive. I've been listening to music all day and music will move me to tears. Sad songs, happy songs, anything. Music is good for my soul.

The other day I watched a documentary called "The Banjo Project" narrated by Steve Martin and I just bawled and bawled! The music and the stories, so happy and so sad and the sounds that stringed instrument makes is amazing. I had no idea of any sort of history of the banjo and was blown away. Just amazing.

Isn't it funny how something you think is a geeky interest of yours can really inspire you and make you think, to stop and listen and learn?

Open (a poem attempt)

Face forward
Eyes bright
as to not blind
my heart to the fight

It hurts to peel back the layers
as if I were an orange
to discover the sweetness underneath
the bitter exterior

It's there, though.

Open mind
Open heart
Open soul

take care with gentle ease
yet
protect with rapid fierceness


Just a note about this writing exercise..I have not attempted to write poetry since I was a teenager. Back then, that's all I wrote. I would sit in my room, choosing to stay in on a Friday night only to sit by my stereo and listen to Smashing Pumpkins, Jimi Hendrix, Pink Floyd, PJ Harvey, Tori Amos, and, well, cry. To write. Tough times then. That's my point though. From the very beginning of it all, writing has always been a part of me. Some part of my brain, body and spoken language are somehow unable to express what I can so easily, with thought, do. It's hard to listen. It's easy to read. It's hard to talk, it's easy to write.




Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Makeup Mania Thursday


If you know me, you know I have a great passion and LOVE for makeup! Anything beauty related I am in to, whether it be skincare, nail art, cosmetics, body care, perfume, oils, etc. You name it in that genre, I'm in to it. I'd like to be so immodest to say that I feel that I have a talent with makeup and color. It's something I LOVE to do and I would never ever tell someone they NEEDED makeup. Makeup to me is something that can enhance your natural beauty if you choose or you can let your natural beauty shine on through, au natural!

What I'm getting at is that I would never want any woman (or man to be PC) to feel as if they don't wear makeup they aren't beautiful. Nah, it's not like that. I've just always been a real girly-girl. I was busted wearing makeup in the 5th grade by my very nice teacher, Mrs. Steed. What did my Mom do? Well, she knew that I wanted to be a girly girl and feminine and instead of being punished for my sneakiness she took me shopping and bought me my first makeups. Age appropriate lip glosses and some pastel eye shadows. I wasn't "allowed" the rest until high school.

I'd really like to steer my blog in a new direction at least for one day a week. I'm thinking that Thursday will be the day and this week it's called Face of the Day or FOTD. What I will do is post a picture of all the products I use on my face (non-skincare) and then all the products I use on my eyes and lips. It's a lot of fun for me because like I said, it's one of my passions and it can be very creative.

So, without further delay, here are my FOTD photos and below that photo, in detail, are the product names I have used.



Face:
Foundation: Maybelline Instant Age Rewind in Pure Beige

Concealer: Maybelline Instant Age Rewind Eraser Treatment in Light

Blusher: Nars Orgasm

Bronzer: Benefit- Dallas

Highlighter: Wet n' Wild Color Icon "Bronzer" in Reserve Your Cabana (this is definitely a bronzer by any means, but it is a lovely highlighter!

Eyes

Primer: Too Faced Eye Primer (eye primer = must)

Shadows: 1.) Loreal Infallible in Gold Imperial
2.) Wet n' Wild Walking on Eggshells trio

Eyeliners: 1.) Revlon Colorstay in Brown Black on upper lash line
2.) Bed Head Cyberoptics Shadow in Green on lower lash line
3.) Bed Head Big Fat Fun in Black on waterline

Mascara: CoverGirl Lashblast Fusion in Very Black

Lips: Revlon Just Bitten Balm Stain in Darling

I would love to hear any sort of feed back, suggestions, ideas for anything makeup related I could do. I also love to review products and if there are any products you see above that you would like my opinion on please don't be shy.

I also have some hair care products I plan on reviewing soon.

If you are interested and are not already a member of my facebook page "Beauty Cupcakes" by all means, friend me and I will be happy to add you. Lots of advice, techniques, nail art, photos, hair, we have a girl for every passion.

Hope you have enjoyed!

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Fire Marshall Bill

Let me tell you something! (I cannot say that sentence without channeling Fire Marshall Bill from "In Living Color")

Remember that show?!? Oh my gosh I loved that show! I loved the dancers, I wanted to be one so bad! Only I got my words mixed up and instead of telling my family members and friends I wanted to be a Fly Girl when I grew up I went around telling people I wanted to be a Call Girl when I grew up. True story.

Back to the subject: LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING! This age/stage/period of time that my sweet, smart, funny little boy is going through right now is about to do me in! Keeping my sense of humor is key and also, so is breathing deep, deep breaths and counting to ten in my head before speaking softly to my super hyper screaming if he doesn't get his way pushing his sister jumping on the furniture little boy. All of this is apparently normal, I know. I also know it will get better and it will also get worse. I do know all of these things. It's a stage, a struggle, a tiny fraction of his childhood and my Motherhood.

I do the best I can. Since he has so much energy we run a lot. And by we I mean HE runs a lot. I walk and challenge him to races, "Hey Henry! I want you to run as FAST as you can to that tree (a mile away, jk) over there, tag it, and RUN back! Ready?!? GO!!!" And we're always swimming or at the park. I really do cater to his physical needs to be very active. I wish it were a bit more productive at slowing him down sometimes though. That's not for me to control though. What I can control is his diet (watching for sugars and processed foods, etc) and I can control my reactions to his behaviors. I'm just worn out and ready for it to be a bit smoother again.

He still likes to sit on my lap and lets me read to him so that's always a calm down and something I LOVE to do for him and my sweet Lucy. So...there's always that.

In other news, I am getting ready to pre-rank my players for my fantasy football team. That will let off a little steam and get me thinking in a different direction.

Oh! I worked out yesterday with an awesome personal trainer with my babysitter at a gym in Saint Louis called Steel Plate Fitness. It was so cool. Something I have figured out about myself over the years is that I really THRIVE on being fit/active. No, I'm not good at any sports where balls are flying at my nose (there goes my social life! ) or anything that requires me to be a team player but I was an athlete in high school. I was a swimmer. Anyway, when I challenged myself after Henry was born to get in shape and to C25K I loved having that goal to reach for. And although I did not reach my goal (shit happens) that's okay. I felt great. So what I am going to say about this personal trainer is that he really had a practical attitude about physical fitness. He called it functional fitness. Things and muscle groups you use on a day to day basis. Let's work on those. The gym has NO machines except for a stationary bike. I'm talking push ups, lunges, crunches, squats, all those things. It's really inspired me to get back into that whole frame of mind and continue to be "active" with my kiddos, but also take time to fine tune my body.

This is getting to be a really long post. But I want to end it with a book I am reading. If you read my previous post you would have seen that I have accepted The Holy Spirit back into my life. The book I am reading right now, if you are at all interested in finding your spirituality is "The Jesuit Guide to Almost Everything - Spirituality for Real Life". I am have been consumed, CONSUMED with researching denominations and I cannot find one right now that suits me. At all. But I've come to peace with that and I'm just going to read this book and see where it leads me. I've had major hang ups with the politics of most churches (no names) that I cannot be a part of....so, I don't know. Anyway, this book, I'll finish and like I said, we'll see where it leads me.

Thanks for listening to my rambling.



Saturday, August 11, 2012

Something Amazing: God

I had a great, life changing moment in my life yesterday. I'd like to share it with you and hope that you can respect my new faith, just as I respect all others faith, religions and beliefs.

Over the past 10 years or so I have drifted far, far, far away from God. Never denying his existence, just not sure if I was deserving of that love and understanding yet always knowing he was there.

Turns out he's been waiting on me to come back.

For the past three months, maybe even longer, I have really, really been struggling with pretty much everything in my life. That's all I can say about that just because honestly, it's not important now and I choose to look forward, not behind. I have been talking to God, praying to him, begging him to please, please PLEASE help me get myself together, to help me be a better Mom, a better wife, a better person. I've been searching, reading and asking lots of questions. Yesterday my Mother in Law mentioned that she sent my hubby "The Jesuit Guide to Almost Everything" and I thought, "hey, I think I'll pick it up and scan it. This book that's been sitting on my bookshelf for months, I pick up, read, get 5 pages in and feel something. I would call myself a skeptic for sure but to me, there was no denying that yesterday I was compelled to close that book, call Henry over to me, tell him I was praying to God and inviting him back into my life. And I did! I asked God and Jesus back into my life, that I need their guidance, love and understanding.

**This was after I talked to my Mom, all freaked out asking what do I do?!? I need to be saved! I need a church!! She just told me I just needed to pray, invite Jesus and God back into your life and worry about the church later. Mom's are great**


I honestly believe that I was moved by a higher spirit, the Holy Spirit, God, whatever you need to call it to understand it.

Did you know after I did that I literally felt like a weight was off of my chest and so very HAPPY! Joyful. Proud and I felt like celebrating. I called my Mom, Dad, Aunt, Cousin, so many happy conversations. I want to see God in everything I do. I want to be blessed and I want to see everything in a new light. I know now that is a possibility for myself and my family.

This is just the beginning of our journey. We have lots of hurdles to jump over and lots of things to figure out but we're starting it! We're starting this journey. I hope you can be happy for my family and I.

**A little back ground: I was brought up Free Will Baptist and while I do not think that this will be our new religion I wanted to explain the whole urge I had to be saved. I have been saved and baptised when I was 8. That's a BIG DEAL in lots of churches, I felt, in my case, that it needed to be renewed. **

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Footbahl

I started a Fantasy Football League. I am so excited to be "the commish"!

I have 14 ladies from facebook who I know or have known years back from all over the country. Okay, who am I kidding with the all over the country bit. Oklahoma, Missouri, North Carolina, New York and California. Whatever. The point is I STARTED MY OWN FANTASY FOOTBALL TEAM and I have no idea what I'm doing, but that's okay!

I played one year back in Raleigh with a bunch of buddies and it was one of the best experiences I had in my life. It brought out my competitive side and I learned a TON about the game. I also learned that, hey, I like football! I like talking about football!

I am still undecided on my team. Not my FF team, but I mean who's jersey will I eventually purchase and wear? I have a Panther's jersey (Delhomme, ha!!) but since I no longer live in NC I'm not really into that team anymore. I *should* be a Rams fan since I live in Saint Louis now but nah, I don't think so. It's totally not important but I do want to pick a team and be a fan of theirs for at least, you know, a while.....hey. No one ever said I WASN'T a fair weather fan.

So who shall it be?

I posted a POLL (hehehe, Beavis and Butthead laugh) for you to pick.

P.S. If they play Moby ONE MORE TIME on my Gnarls Barkley Pandora I'm going to lose it. No Moby. NO MOBY!


I Am Me Again

It's as if the clouds have parted and I am ME again.  The me that semi-strangers would say "Wow, Andrea, I never would have thought you were an such an angry person dealing with depression since your teens and have been in and out of doctors offices and therapy for years."  That's not to say that I don't have bad days here any there but I am in control of my emotions now.  I needed help, I asked for help, I got help.  I have control of my life.  I am not abusing any sort of substance to be comfortable in my own skin.  I am eating good, healthy, real foods (most days, this is, after all, my weakness).  I am a better wife and a better mother for these things.  I am praying to my higher power and leaning on him when I need strength.  I am proud of me.  I am regaining my sense of humor and finding myself again.  I just have to keep at it.  Keep working on myself and developing negatives into a positive picture.

It's good, it really is good.  

My next goal is to get on an exercise regimen.  Since it's been summer I have been counting all our outside time and trips to the pool as exercise even though it's not.  I'd rather enjoy the summer to tell you the truth.  Fall and winter are around the corner and since we have a membership to a gym with daycare I can start planning that out.  I may even start lap swimming on the weekends. Which means I'll be in the market for a swim cap and goggles (eeee!  reminds me of High School!)  

I am hoping that this fog I've been in for a long, long time is clear.  Clear enough for me to dive back into things I feel like I have talent for like writing, makeup, communicating and teaching (my children).  Who knows where I'll go, what I'll do.  No more excuses, no more martyr.  Life is too short.


Welcome back, Andrea