I've got a list of things to do today and tons of laundry was one of them. I was texting my Mom all of the things I have to accomplish and what I had done and what I had left to do and how I am seriously sleep deprived and she said something so simple, "so stop obsessing. Take control of being in control". It makes sense and so I shall. I just ate lunch, I'm writing this blog and I am going to cross two things that don't HAVE to be done today and can wait until tomorrow. It would also make sense to take a nap but I cannot. The GO button has already been pressed and it's not going to turn red until 8 pm tonight.
We're leaving for Branson on Friday for a long weekend with my parental in-laws, my other sister in law, her Hubby and Henry & Lucy's cousin. All I can think about is making lists and when am I going to have time to pack for three people and blah blah BLAH BLAH blah blah blah.
Sigh. I wish I could be deprogrammed to be this way. Actually, I AM working on it. I know I have a problem. I'll acknowledge that and laugh about it because what else can I do? Crying and feeling helpless is NOT an option or a road I want to go down anymore. Recognize your faults, work on letting go of some things and let God take them.
I even set an alarm on my IPhone to remind me to get ready for bed at 8pm and then set a timer for 30 minutes and after I get ready for bed, in jammies, face clean and outfit out for the next day I am supposed to turn off my computer, sit my phone down and try and sleep. I think I am becoming compulsive about this timer and alarm thing...maybe.
Thank you, Momma, for reminding me that it's okay to let some things go, relax, take care of yourself and not feel guilty about doing those things. Previously I had called myself lazy for doing that before everything was complete. Had to have a little chat with God, which I had forgotten to do today, and am now feeling better.
I am always so very hard on myself. Not constructive to being a good Mom, wife, friend and most importantly, HUMAN BEING.
And thank YOU, blog friends, for listening to my psychological rant. I feel much better now.