Good Lawd it's Been a Long Minute!

A long minute since I wrote....

We recently went to the Outerbanks of North Carolina, Nags Head, specifically and just had this amazing, spectacular weekend with our really close friends.  Like, second family friends.  People who know you better than you know yourself and can tell more funny stories about themselves of you than you can imagine. We were there to watch one of my close friends, J. get married to M (such a sweetheart, wish I had more time to get to know her better!)., his fiance.  If I could ever recreate a magical moment that I witnessed in time it would be that one.  It was outdoors at the Elizabethan Gardens in Manteo. Completely amazing, a beautiful, a softly playing guitar and little boys I love and hold dear to my heart watching their Uncle getting married all while gaining a new Aunt and one sweet, darling little flower girl.  Blissful emotions ran rampant and I don't think there was one person there who didn't shed a tear of joy for this newly married couple.

The reception was fun, fun, fun!  A perfect venue with gorgeous hand made decorations by the bride.  Food was amazing, and the groom made sure to tell me he planned the menu when I complimented the choices we had to nom on, which were:  shrimp and grits (MY FAVE!), mac and cheese, broccolini, pastas with marinara or fresh pesto and each setting had their own box of two chocolate truffles.  YUM.

The party was a bit slow to warm up to dancing and that was okay because there was a lot of fun mingling.  After people got a few glasses of wine in them, watch out now!!

This should tell you how fun it was.  I danced.  A LOT.  They played "YMCA" and had props!  BONUS!!  So yeah, I was a construction worker.  It's a wonder that damn hat fit over my head.  Turns out, I got low, low, low, low and ker-plunk, fell right on my caboose.  It was all good.  I couldn't stop laughing even though I had half a dozen people trying to help me up.   No harm, no foul, but a funny memory I will never forget.  For the record, I was not the only person who fell dancing that night.  ;)

The next morning I was lucky enough to spend the whole day at this amazing on the beach house the wedding party had rented.  I'd say we were out on the beach from 11-4 pm when the winds really picked up and it got really chilly!  Plus, we were getting sandblasted.  After that some of us went to a 0.10 cent shrimp, 0.25 cent wing, or if you're JP, $1 taco restaurant.  It was a blast.  They had a musician in there playing good old classic country/drunk music.  That evening was filled with laughter, lots and lots of stories and a sad goodbye.  It was really something to talk and talk and talk to some of my friends I had not seen in over a year and just realize and feel how much more mature we all are, how happy we all are and just how proud I felt of every single one of those friends.  The this group of friends I have in NC is a rarity.  I am so lucky to be a part of this extended family and it's really something I never ever dreamed of when I moved to NC 8 years ago.  Friends like this, which I also have in Oklahoma, are always there for you, will always have your back and be loyal and no matter how much time has passed since you last spoke.  You just pick right back up where you left off with no awkwardness or silence.

My hubby and I had to fly out of RDU the next afternoon on Saturday and it's a 4 hour drive from the Outerbanks to Raleigh.  My brother in law and sister in law were kind enough to be our transportation for the vacation.  Thanks, guys!!

We kind of had a messed up flight home.  Long story story, we were supposed to depart at 3:45pm and arrive in Tulsa (Tulsa because my Mom watched the kids for us) at 8:50pm but it turned into departing at 5:30pm, missing our connecting flight in DFW and ending up arriving in Tulsa at 11pm.  Then the next morning we packed up for a VERY LONG DRIVE HOME to Saint Louis.  Man, road trips just suck with kids.  Honestly.  This time, the DVD player was not even cutting it for the kids.  That's okay though, we knew what to expect and we're just now, today on Thursday, all unpacked and caught up house work wise.

That's the story of best mini-vacay 2012, J&M's wedding.

Listography: Favorite Albums

This is a writing exercise of sorts.  It's from a book I bought a few years ago called "Listography - Your Life in Lists".  Basically it's a journal but each page gives you something to list. Since I type everything and save it in my computer I thought I'd like to type it out instead.  So, here we go.

Oh, I should mention, I'm not going in order of the book because why would I do a silly think like that?

List your favorite records:

Pink Floyd - Dark Side of the Moon.  Oh man, I would listen to that on my portable DVD player almost every night while falling asleep in high school.  Hearing a song on the radio on that album brings back so many memories!

Smashing Pumpkins:  Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness.  I cried.  I wrote.  I danced.  I cried some more.  I was inspired.   What else can I say?  I was in high school. Great, great, great album.  One that will always be so close to my heart.

Poe - Hello
Song that worth quoting here:

"Tomorrow's coming 'round like a hair-pin curve in the road
She's got a run in her stocking and she's missing the heel of her shoe
Got up this morning rolled out of bed
I spilled a Diet Coke
Called my mother
Said, "Hi." What I meant to say was:
"Why is your life a joke?"
Then I went down to that ugly bar and
I clicked my heels three times just like you said
And I climbed that road to your empty house
The anticipation was a turn-on...but you let me down
'Cause I stood on that empty street alone
I said, "I'm ready for my close-up now, Mr. Demille."
I waited for the light but it never shone
Well I wonder what you do with that expensive piece of land
That overlooks a billion years of history (I have a sneaking suspicion)
You will never understand
Hey maybe I'll see you down by the Rocky & Bullwinkle
And we can talk to that charlatan psychic
And she can paint a prettier picture of your future.

'Cause that day in my life...
That day in my life...
I dreamt tomorrow had a prettier face
I dreamt tomorrow would have better things to say
Than, "You look like shit, what's your problem, bitch?
You're legs feel like sandpaper, you can't do anything right."
'Cause that day never should have taken place
'Cause this day in my life still cannot explain
Why I listened in the first place
to you

Oh yeah, something else...

I hope one day you call up your father
And you have the guts to tell him how he hurt you
And he made you hurt another
'Cause it makes me sad."  - Poe
Look it up.  Listen to it.  Good stuff.

Modest Mouse - Good News for People who Love Bad News
The World at Large.  That was the song I listened to on repeat when I first moved to NC and cried and cried.  My heart ached for home but knowing I made the right decision made it that much harder..


Bjork.  No favorite album because I have them all.  Just a favorite artist who challenged  and enlightened the way I really heard music.

OutKast - Stankonia

PJ Harvey - Stories from the City, Stories from the Sea


There are so many other albums an songs that deserve mentions but I am sleepy now an my mind has lost interest in writing as now I want to listen Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness on Spotify.  :)

OMG - How could I have forgotten
Madonna - Ray of Light
Huge Madonna fan, but this was my favorite album by her, by far.  She really changed during that album.  It's so chill!

Okay, back to Smashing Pumpkins.

Henry - on your third birthday.

Oh, Henry.

You are three today.  THREE!!  I still remember the terrifying day I gave birth to you like it was yesterday.  Yes, you read that right.  I was terrified as it was an emergency cesarean and that was NOT your fault.  The way you came into the world is not the point.  You are here now and you are the light in my eyes.

I wrote something funny the other day I thought I'd share.  Seem appropriate here.  "My whole life all I ever wanted to be was a Mother.  I never played with Barbie Dolls, in fact, I disliked them (ask Nana).  I preferred to play house and take care of my baby dolls.  Now, I am the mother and all I want to be is the Barbie Doll with the convertible and perfect life".  That is all in jest of course.  But it was an accurate portrayal of the days you have when you are a Mom.  Sometimes the world is too heavy on your shoulder and you wish for something different.  The thing is, when you have children, you are always snapped back to reality with a giggle or a precious voice saying, "Momma?  Mommmmmm-AHHH".  You remember.  You really are "Momma".  That person in the other room loves your unconditionally and depends on you.  For that reason, I aspire to be a better person, to take care of myself, make wise choices and choose friends carefully.

Having a child is so amazing.  You get to connect with them in a way that you'd never believe.  You'll see sides of yourself, both good and bad, from your childhood and now adulthood.

The great thing?  We are all learning.  I am still learning to be a parent just as your are learning to be a three year old.  We will make mistakes and there will be tears, although, I remain optimistic that there will be no injuries.

So let's talk more about you, Henry, in bullet form:

• Some of your new interests are drawing and painting.  I try to encourage that as much as possible even if it means giving you 3 baths a day.  Artistic talent run on my side of the family
• Music is another thing you enjoy.  I hope to teach you more songs this year.
• Running.  You are an excellent runner!
• You are cautious.  You will never hear me say anything like "He's afraid of everything!".  No.  You are cautious.  When you are good and ready to try something, like climbing tall rocks or sticking your head underwater, you will do it.  I will never force you to do anything you are wary of.  
• Speaking of forcing; you can't force a kid to potty train. So we're not.  As much as we would like it to be sooner than later, we will not push it on you until you are ready.   All we can do is give you the tools and explain and talk and that's what we're doing.  
• Your little sister looks up to you so much.  She squeals when she sees you and knows you are "Bubba".  
• I love that you love to play with your Legos!  
• Trains are still a big part of your life
• As are cars
• I love how much you love me to read to you and how you will "read" and study the book all by yourself sometimes.  

This year will be a very exciting year for you as you grow more and more into the little boy that you are already coming.  You'll start preschool within the year, you'll learn to use the potty, spend a whole weekend with Nana, fly to NC at some point to visit our family there, we'll discover new talents, play new games and find new things we like!  

I love you, SO MUCH, my Pickle.  

Happy 3rd birthday, little man!

Busy!

I've been busy! That's all that needs to be said about that I suppose.

I am working hard on creating my own youtube channel. It will showcase all things prissy, mainly cosmetics: hauls, reviews and tutorials. Even if you aren't interested in makeup I think you'll find it interesting or even funny sometimes. I have the page but I'm still setting it up, working on my camera situation, trying to make things visually pleasing and remembering NOT TO LOOK AT THE SCREEN WHILE USING THE WEBCAM. The latter is a moot point as I have found out that the web cam SUCKS and until I can get a "real" video camera I will be making due with my Canon Power Shot SD780 IS Digital ELPH. How's that for some super specific details? (It's like, 3.5 years old. Wahhh wah.)

Once I've perfected the channel to my standards I'll release the details on here. Chances are, if you know me, you already are privy to it. It's not that I want it to be a secret, I just want it to be semi perfect so that maybe, just maybe, one day I can be one of those lucky youtube girls that get products sent to them to review, keep and host giveaways.

And oh yes, I've been fairly busy being League Manager to an all woman fantasy football league. I am so excited to say that, can you tell?!? I have really wanted to start an all woman team since getting the boot from my previous fantasy football league because of the v*gina thing. They were nice about it and all, but still. Anyway, it's a lot of fun! I have had to have some help from my awesome hubs. As much as I hate asking for help sometimes he really does come in useful, especially with Excel spreadsheets.

Stay tuned, friends!

Branson

Just a short post.

I'M ALIVE!! I've been being alive on facebook and instagram mainly because the past two weeks have been a little wild.

We went to Branson. Stayed in a really amazing log cabin. Took 3 children with us, my two and my SIL's 2 and a half year old little boy and some how, well, no one told us just how exhausting and stressful it would be to take 3 little ones to a luxurious cabin with stuffed dead things (why, hello dead stuffed turkey hanging above my head. My, how your wattle sways in the breeze when the AC comes on....) hanging on the wall of all THREE floors. For the record, I was the only one who was bothered by the dead things on the wall. I.DON'T.GET.IT. SCARY. Also scary? My little Lucy who decided to really take off walking (finally at 13 months!) in a house with 3 stair wells and lots of sharp edges.

I'd like to remind my readers that for the record, I am not complaining. But it was a really, really hard trip. Henry decided to wake up for the day each day at 4 am and that's after coming in an out of his bed room, oh, every hour from 9pm-4am. Then decided to not nap or eat on top of everything and turns into devil child, tantrum after tantrum. I really honestly felt bad for the guy. I felt bad for ME who was exhausted by day 4 and ready to get the hell out of Dodge and I also felt bad for my in-laws who provided a wonderful opportunity to relax and enjoy, yet none of us got to do those things. Completely unaware of how hard it can be on some kiddos to be away from home. The also both got colds towards the end.

Here are the good things about the trip:

• Spending time with my Mother in Law and my sister in law, Angela, and laughing about how one day we'll laugh about all the chaos of this trip
• Being outdoors in nature. It was good to be out in the middle of no where, which is not no where in all actuality, but a smaller town than what I've been used to
• Realizing I am much more of a suburban or urban type of woman
• Hearing the friendliness of hints of southern accents from the locals. I really, really miss that! It made me home sick for NC.
• Seeing the beautifulness of the lakes and rocks.

Some funny (maybe un-fun) things about the trip:

• It was 70-80 degrees everyday. Yay! Right? Well, not with 85% humidity. I swear we all needed 2-3 showers every day. No wind, either.
• I started my period 2 days in and also sprung 2 giant, cystic zits! Yay for all that sweating and hormones. TMI?
• Mosquito's. Poor Lucy got bit up all over. The first day we were there she was outside for 10 minutes before I realized, OMG, mosquito's love my Lucy! And it was too late. She has a bad reaction to mosquito bites. They swell up to the size of, oh, I don't even know how to describe how big but it's big and like hives. Girl probably had about 10 bites on each leg, a few on her arms and even some on the small of her pretty little back. When they start to deflate a bit she gets an oozing scab on them even if she doesn't scratch and it just looks horrible. Not a big deal to her, but it really made me feel like a bad mom. From then on she had on OFF.
• Sometimes going to Mass goes all wrong. Like the one we attended. I don't want to offend anyone, but I think it was just the wrong day for me to go to Mass because the speaker really went on and on about Women obeying their husbands and that's sort of thing and that's when I decided that Lucy was behaving badly and we walked out and listened to the rest of that crap in the lobby. Then it turned into fundraiser Sunday where a priest from Scotland basically high pressured the congregation for money for a whole 40 minutes! It was horrible. I had never heard that type of thing in Mass, and I've been to a lot. I snuck back in to get my diaper bag and Henry was sprawled out on the pew asleep. Pretty sure that's not kosher....but, whatevs. I tried. That kind of put a major damper on my religious zeal I was feeling last month. I've prayed about it though and I'm still trying to find a church for me and my family.
• I threw what I think was between a temper tantrum or a mini panic attack in Bass Pro Shops when, after 2 hours of walking around at the landing (outdoor shopping mall) in the the humidity we end up in that store walking around for maybe ten minutes. I'll tell you what, I was just done. DONE. All the sudden I look at my MIL and husband and say, "I gotta get out of here! I am leaving! It's dark in here, everything is the same color, there are dead things everywhere AND THEY'RE PLAYING COUNTRY MUSIC!!!!" and I stomped/strolled on out with my little girl vowing to never go back in that blasted store again. **I later apologized to my MIL and husband for my outburst. Seriously, I'm not sure what came over me. It was wrong. But it was kind of funny. ;)**

Hmm, I think that's about all for now. Cutting it short because my little ones will be waking soon. I hope to be back later on this week with some new makeup fun.

Colors, the colors!

I feel kind of guilty about posting this just because the amount of money I've spent on this but I am going to anyway.

I have a nail polish obsession. It's something I have collected and used for forever. One of my friends said, "It's like owning a piece of the rainbow. How COULD you resist?". With that sort of reasoning, I'm presenting you my nail polish collection with the brands and names listed below, left to right.

Abbreviations used: SH=Sally Hansen W&W=Wet N' Wild, SC= Sinful Colors

an * (asterisk) means it's a favorite and ** means I have a note about the product. See after photos to read.

Top Coats:

Orly Won't Chip, INM Out the Door, **Seche Vite, SH Strengthening Top Coat

Seche Vite - I LOVED this product. It dries your nails fast and makes them nail salon shiny. For me, it has two downfalls. 1.) When it chips it will basically peel your whole nail polish coating off your nail. Which is actually kind of fun, but not when you've worked hard at a manicure. 2.) The bottle of product starts getting really thick, goopy and unusable (IMO). They do make a product that you can drop in there, like a paint thinner, but I don't feel like I should have to spend another $7 to fix a problem with the $7 top coat I purchased. Sadly, it does not work for me anymore and I will not be repurchasing.

Glitters:

SC I Miss You, SC Pinky Glitter, *NYC Starry Silver Glitter , Essense Space Queen, *Pure Ice Spit Fire, **Milani Gems

Milani Gems - it's a cool polish but to get a good amount of glitter on your nail you're going to have to do the "dip and dab" tequnique to get it on and then you have a big gob of polish.

Not otherwise classified:

Shown above: all Revlon limited edition glitter duos.

Galactic, Supernova, *Orbit, **Satellite

Favorite: Orbit. Lovely ultra dark purple that makes the lavender flakies a star.

Notes: Satellite is a nice combo - BUT - it reminds me so much of Christmas. It's a maroon with gold flakies which is lovely, but not for summer. I'll keep it around until winter to see if I feel differently in the winter months.

Two things that all 4 of these polish duos have in common are 1.) the base coat KICKS ASS. So much ass it kicks that I wish Revlon would reintroduce all the bases into their normal polish line. Nice brush, no streaking and they're pretty much usable with one coat. Two would (always) be best, but you could totally get away with one. 2.) The glitter/flakies dry out super fast. As impressed as I am by shiny things (glitter!!) I expected more.

Purples:

SH Lively Lilac, SC Lavender, Essie (name rubbed off)

WOW. Those are PINK!

SC Dream On, SH Xtreme Wear Bubble Gum Pink, SH Instant-Dri Speedy Sunburst,

SH Xtreme Wear Twisted Pink

Muted Pinks:

W&W Undercover, SC Starfish, Revlon Flirt, SH Smooth Perfect Satin

All of the above are OPI:

It's All Greek to Me, That's Berry Daring, *Cha-Ching Cherry, Pinkticularily Pretty, Flash Bulb Fushia

Nudes:

OPI Suzi and and Lifeguard, SH Nailgrowth Miracle Mighty Mauve, *L'oreal Mauvelous, Essence Modern Romance, Essence Sweet as Candy

Reds:

Revlon Frankly Scarlet, L'oreal Rendevous

Black and Dark Silver:

SH Magnetic Silver Elements, L'oreal Owls Night, OPI Lucerne-Tainly Look Marvelous

And folks, that's all she wrote.

Whoa there! Slow down.

I had my brother and his wife (I still call her my sister in law, is correct? I don't care either way) in town so I've been busy having fun and remembering why it's not so easy to drink, even a couple glasses of wine, anymore without a hangover. WHAT.IS.UP.WITH.THAT?!? Seriously, ya'll, I had 2.5 glasses of pinot grigio on a Saturday night, stay out until 10:30pm and then my headache hangover started at 1am and made me real cranky all of Sunday. I made it though, did a damn good job of it, too.

I've got a list of things to do today and tons of laundry was one of them. I was texting my Mom all of the things I have to accomplish and what I had done and what I had left to do and how I am seriously sleep deprived and she said something so simple, "so stop obsessing. Take control of being in control". It makes sense and so I shall. I just ate lunch, I'm writing this blog and I am going to cross two things that don't HAVE to be done today and can wait until tomorrow. It would also make sense to take a nap but I cannot. The GO button has already been pressed and it's not going to turn red until 8 pm tonight.

We're leaving for Branson on Friday for a long weekend with my parental in-laws, my other sister in law, her Hubby and Henry & Lucy's cousin. All I can think about is making lists and when am I going to have time to pack for three people and blah blah BLAH BLAH blah blah blah.

Sigh. I wish I could be deprogrammed to be this way. Actually, I AM working on it. I know I have a problem. I'll acknowledge that and laugh about it because what else can I do? Crying and feeling helpless is NOT an option or a road I want to go down anymore. Recognize your faults, work on letting go of some things and let God take them.

I even set an alarm on my IPhone to remind me to get ready for bed at 8pm and then set a timer for 30 minutes and after I get ready for bed, in jammies, face clean and outfit out for the next day I am supposed to turn off my computer, sit my phone down and try and sleep. I think I am becoming compulsive about this timer and alarm thing...maybe.

Thank you, Momma, for reminding me that it's okay to let some things go, relax, take care of yourself and not feel guilty about doing those things. Previously I had called myself lazy for doing that before everything was complete. Had to have a little chat with God, which I had forgotten to do today, and am now feeling better.

I am always so very hard on myself. Not constructive to being a good Mom, wife, friend and most importantly, HUMAN BEING.

And thank YOU, blog friends, for listening to my psychological rant. I feel much better now.

Banjo

**originally written on 8/16/12. I thought, "what a geeky thing to write about!!", but since I'll be in Branson, MO Friday-Tuesday I think now it's appropriate. I just found out there is Fiddle Festival this weekend in downtown Branson and I'd love to go and take my kiddos! I know they'd love it and I know I would too. My maternal biological grandfather, who I sadly only got to meet one time before he passed, was a bluegrass musician. Maybe it's in my blood?

I'm very emotional today and not necessarily in a negative way, just sensitive. I've been listening to music all day and music will move me to tears. Sad songs, happy songs, anything. Music is good for my soul.

The other day I watched a documentary called "The Banjo Project" narrated by Steve Martin and I just bawled and bawled! The music and the stories, so happy and so sad and the sounds that stringed instrument makes is amazing. I had no idea of any sort of history of the banjo and was blown away. Just amazing.

Isn't it funny how something you think is a geeky interest of yours can really inspire you and make you think, to stop and listen and learn?

Open (a poem attempt)

Face forward

Eyes bright

as to not blind

my heart to the fight

It hurts to peel back the layers

as if I were an orange

to discover the sweetness underneath

the bitter exterior

It's there, though.

Open mind

Open heart

Open soul

take care with gentle ease

yet

protect with rapid fierceness

Just a note about this writing exercise..I have not attempted to write poetry since I was a teenager. Back then, that's all I wrote. I would sit in my room, choosing to stay in on a Friday night only to sit by my stereo and listen to Smashing Pumpkins, Jimi Hendrix, Pink Floyd, PJ Harvey, Tori Amos, and, well, cry. To write. Tough times then. That's my point though. From the very beginning of it all, writing has always been a part of me. Some part of my brain, body and spoken language are somehow unable to express what I can so easily, with thought, do. It's hard to listen. It's easy to read. It's hard to talk, it's easy to write.

Makeup Mania Thursday

If you know me, you know I have a great passion and LOVE for makeup! Anything beauty related I am in to, whether it be skincare, nail art, cosmetics, body care, perfume, oils, etc. You name it in that genre, I'm in to it. I'd like to be so immodest to say that I feel that I have a talent with makeup and color. It's something I LOVE to do and I would never ever tell someone they NEEDED makeup. Makeup to me is something that can enhance your natural beauty if you choose or you can let your natural beauty shine on through, au natural!

What I'm getting at is that I would never want any woman (or man to be PC) to feel as if they don't wear makeup they aren't beautiful. Nah, it's not like that. I've just always been a real girly-girl. I was busted wearing makeup in the 5th grade by my very nice teacher, Mrs. Steed. What did my Mom do? Well, she knew that I wanted to be a girly girl and feminine and instead of being punished for my sneakiness she took me shopping and bought me my first makeups. Age appropriate lip glosses and some pastel eye shadows. I wasn't "allowed" the rest until high school.

I'd really like to steer my blog in a new direction at least for one day a week. I'm thinking that Thursday will be the day and this week it's called Face of the Day or FOTD. What I will do is post a picture of all the products I use on my face (non-skincare) and then all the products I use on my eyes and lips. It's a lot of fun for me because like I said, it's one of my passions and it can be very creative.

So, without further delay, here are my FOTD photos and below that photo, in detail, are the product names I have used.

Face:

Foundation: Maybelline Instant Age Rewind in Pure Beige

Concealer: Maybelline Instant Age Rewind Eraser Treatment in Light

Blusher: Nars Orgasm

Bronzer: Benefit- Dallas

Highlighter: Wet n' Wild Color Icon "Bronzer" in Reserve Your Cabana (this is definitely a bronzer by any means, but it is a lovely highlighter!

Eyes

Primer: Too Faced Eye Primer (eye primer = must)

Shadows: 1.) Loreal Infallible in Gold Imperial

2.) Wet n' Wild Walking on Eggshells trio

Eyeliners: 1.) Revlon Colorstay in Brown Black on upper lash line

2.) Bed Head Cyberoptics Shadow in Green on lower lash line

3.) Bed Head Big Fat Fun in Black on waterline

Mascara: CoverGirl Lashblast Fusion in Very Black

Lips: Revlon Just Bitten Balm Stain in Darling

I would love to hear any sort of feed back, suggestions, ideas for anything makeup related I could do. I also love to review products and if there are any products you see above that you would like my opinion on please don't be shy.

I also have some hair care products I plan on reviewing soon.

If you are interested and are not already a member of my facebook page "Beauty Cupcakes" by all means, friend me and I will be happy to add you. Lots of advice, techniques, nail art, photos, hair, we have a girl for every passion.

Hope you have enjoyed!

Fire Marshall Bill

Let me tell you something! (I cannot say that sentence without channeling Fire Marshall Bill from "In Living Color")

Remember that show?!? Oh my gosh I loved that show! I loved the dancers, I wanted to be one so bad! Only I got my words mixed up and instead of telling my family members and friends I wanted to be a Fly Girl when I grew up I went around telling people I wanted to be a Call Girl when I grew up. True story.

Back to the subject: LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING! This age/stage/period of time that my sweet, smart, funny little boy is going through right now is about to do me in! Keeping my sense of humor is key and also, so is breathing deep, deep breaths and counting to ten in my head before speaking softly to my super hyper screaming if he doesn't get his way pushing his sister jumping on the furniture little boy. All of this is apparently normal, I know. I also know it will get better and it will also get worse. I do know all of these things. It's a stage, a struggle, a tiny fraction of his childhood and my Motherhood.

I do the best I can. Since he has so much energy we run a lot. And by we I mean HE runs a lot. I walk and challenge him to races, "Hey Henry! I want you to run as FAST as you can to that tree (a mile away, jk) over there, tag it, and RUN back! Ready?!? GO!!!" And we're always swimming or at the park. I really do cater to his physical needs to be very active. I wish it were a bit more productive at slowing him down sometimes though. That's not for me to control though. What I can control is his diet (watching for sugars and processed foods, etc) and I can control my reactions to his behaviors. I'm just worn out and ready for it to be a bit smoother again.

He still likes to sit on my lap and lets me read to him so that's always a calm down and something I LOVE to do for him and my sweet Lucy. So...there's always that.

In other news, I am getting ready to pre-rank my players for my fantasy football team. That will let off a little steam and get me thinking in a different direction.

Oh! I worked out yesterday with an awesome personal trainer with my babysitter at a gym in Saint Louis called Steel Plate Fitness. It was so cool. Something I have figured out about myself over the years is that I really THRIVE on being fit/active. No, I'm not good at any sports where balls are flying at my nose (there goes my social life! ) or anything that requires me to be a team player but I was an athlete in high school. I was a swimmer. Anyway, when I challenged myself after Henry was born to get in shape and to C25K I loved having that goal to reach for. And although I did not reach my goal (shit happens) that's okay. I felt great. So what I am going to say about this personal trainer is that he really had a practical attitude about physical fitness. He called it functional fitness. Things and muscle groups you use on a day to day basis. Let's work on those. The gym has NO machines except for a stationary bike. I'm talking push ups, lunges, crunches, squats, all those things. It's really inspired me to get back into that whole frame of mind and continue to be "active" with my kiddos, but also take time to fine tune my body.

This is getting to be a really long post. But I want to end it with a book I am reading. If you read my previous post you would have seen that I have accepted The Holy Spirit back into my life. The book I am reading right now, if you are at all interested in finding your spirituality is "The Jesuit Guide to Almost Everything - Spirituality for Real Life". I am have been consumed, CONSUMED with researching denominations and I cannot find one right now that suits me. At all. But I've come to peace with that and I'm just going to read this book and see where it leads me. I've had major hang ups with the politics of most churches (no names) that I cannot be a part of....so, I don't know. Anyway, this book, I'll finish and like I said, we'll see where it leads me.

Thanks for listening to my rambling.

Something Amazing: God

I had a great, life changing moment in my life yesterday. I'd like to share it with you and hope that you can respect my new faith, just as I respect all others faith, religions and beliefs.

Over the past 10 years or so I have drifted far, far, far away from God. Never denying his existence, just not sure if I was deserving of that love and understanding yet always knowing he was there.

Turns out he's been waiting on me to come back.

For the past three months, maybe even longer, I have really, really been struggling with pretty much everything in my life. That's all I can say about that just because honestly, it's not important now and I choose to look forward, not behind. I have been talking to God, praying to him, begging him to please, please PLEASE help me get myself together, to help me be a better Mom, a better wife, a better person. I've been searching, reading and asking lots of questions. Yesterday my Mother in Law mentioned that she sent my hubby "The Jesuit Guide to Almost Everything" and I thought, "hey, I think I'll pick it up and scan it. This book that's been sitting on my bookshelf for months, I pick up, read, get 5 pages in and feel something. I would call myself a skeptic for sure but to me, there was no denying that yesterday I was compelled to close that book, call Henry over to me, tell him I was praying to God and inviting him back into my life. And I did! I asked God and Jesus back into my life, that I need their guidance, love and understanding.

**This was after I talked to my Mom, all freaked out asking what do I do?!? I need to be saved! I need a church!! She just told me I just needed to pray, invite Jesus and God back into your life and worry about the church later. Mom's are great**

I honestly believe that I was moved by a higher spirit, the Holy Spirit, God, whatever you need to call it to understand it.

Did you know after I did that I literally felt like a weight was off of my chest and so very HAPPY! Joyful. Proud and I felt like celebrating. I called my Mom, Dad, Aunt, Cousin, so many happy conversations. I want to see God in everything I do. I want to be blessed and I want to see everything in a new light. I know now that is a possibility for myself and my family.

This is just the beginning of our journey. We have lots of hurdles to jump over and lots of things to figure out but we're starting it! We're starting this journey. I hope you can be happy for my family and I.

**A little back ground: I was brought up Free Will Baptist and while I do not think that this will be our new religion I wanted to explain the whole urge I had to be saved. I have been saved and baptised when I was 8. That's a BIG DEAL in lots of churches, I felt, in my case, that it needed to be renewed. **

Footbahl

I started a Fantasy Football League. I am so excited to be "the commish"!

I have 14 ladies from facebook who I know or have known years back from all over the country. Okay, who am I kidding with the all over the country bit. Oklahoma, Missouri, North Carolina, New York and California. Whatever. The point is I STARTED MY OWN FANTASY FOOTBALL TEAM and I have no idea what I'm doing, but that's okay!

I played one year back in Raleigh with a bunch of buddies and it was one of the best experiences I had in my life. It brought out my competitive side and I learned a TON about the game. I also learned that, hey, I like football! I like talking about football!

I am still undecided on my team. Not my FF team, but I mean who's jersey will I eventually purchase and wear? I have a Panther's jersey (Delhomme, ha!!) but since I no longer live in NC I'm not really into that team anymore. I *should* be a Rams fan since I live in Saint Louis now but nah, I don't think so. It's totally not important but I do want to pick a team and be a fan of theirs for at least, you know, a while.....hey. No one ever said I WASN'T a fair weather fan.

So who shall it be?

I posted a POLL (hehehe, Beavis and Butthead laugh) for you to pick.

P.S. If they play Moby ONE MORE TIME on my Gnarls Barkley Pandora I'm going to lose it. No Moby. NO MOBY!

I Am Me Again

It's as if the clouds have parted and I am ME again.  The me that semi-strangers would say "Wow, Andrea, I never would have thought you were an such an angry person dealing with depression since your teens and have been in and out of doctors offices and therapy for years."  That's not to say that I don't have bad days here any there but I am in control of my emotions now.  I needed help, I asked for help, I got help.  I have control of my life.  I am not abusing any sort of substance to be comfortable in my own skin.  I am eating good, healthy, real foods (most days, this is, after all, my weakness).  I am a better wife and a better mother for these things.  I am praying to my higher power and leaning on him when I need strength.  I am proud of me.  I am regaining my sense of humor and finding myself again.  I just have to keep at it.  Keep working on myself and developing negatives into a positive picture.

It's good, it really is good.  

My next goal is to get on an exercise regimen.  Since it's been summer I have been counting all our outside time and trips to the pool as exercise even though it's not.  I'd rather enjoy the summer to tell you the truth.  Fall and winter are around the corner and since we have a membership to a gym with daycare I can start planning that out.  I may even start lap swimming on the weekends. Which means I'll be in the market for a swim cap and goggles (eeee!  reminds me of High School!)  

I am hoping that this fog I've been in for a long, long time is clear.  Clear enough for me to dive back into things I feel like I have talent for like writing, makeup, communicating and teaching (my children).  Who knows where I'll go, what I'll do.  No more excuses, no more martyr.  Life is too short.


Welcome back, Andrea

BB Cream? BB, please.

L'oreal's Youth Code BB Cream in Medium

You've probably already seen or heard a lot about the BB Cream trend in the beauty industry lately.  Trend is the operative word and marketing is the game.  You'll hear a lot of buzz about people saying BB Creams bought in the Asian market are totally different than what is bought in the American market.  I'm sure they are.  The point is that I'll never buy a BB Cream from Asia (just because I'm cheap, hello, shipping?!?) and I'll most likely never buy another BB Cream from America.

Why?

1.)  The bodacious claims.  Things that are magical and transforming will happen when you apply so and so's BB Cream.  Please.  That's BS, we are talking cosmetics here, not face lifts in a tube.

3.)  BB Cream?  I know it stands for Beauty Balm but what a stupid name for a cosmetic item.  It conjures up images of a little boy from the 1940's with his BB Gun aimed at your face only instead of little pellets when he shoots you, you get BB Cream.  Gross.  Anyone else?  No?  Okay, I know I'm odd.

3.)  This is a glorified tinted moisturizer.  That is all.  Nothing magical or transforming will happen.  It MAY work for you!  If so, that's great!  Keep using it!  For me it doesn't do the trick, especially not for the price I paid.

So I bought L'oreal's BB Cream with excitement because that's what a beauty junkie does.  NEW BEAUTY PRODUCT!  Stop the presses.  I'm getting it.  So I did.

The color I bought was medium which works for me this summer, as I'm getting a lot of sun these days with two kiddos.  Yes, I wear spf30 but I still get dark.

The stuff has a light, nice smell.  Kind of like the Loreal sublime bronze creams but way toned down.  But there is definitely a smell.  The application feels great!  It goes on like buttah.  LIKE.BUTTAH.  It's really moisturizing and if you have oily skin this is might be a problem.  I have combo skin leaning more on the oily side in the summer and this stuff, well, I definitely have a shiny face but that could definitely be the weather and not the products fault.  At any rate, if you do buy this and try it out, set with powder before going out if you'd like it to last longer than 2 hrs.  I did, it didn't.  After two hours I looked like I did when I wake up which is:  fine lines starting to appear, dark under eye circles, uneven skin tone and sun spots.  In other words, not finished or how I chose to appear when I placed this product on my face.

I don't want to write a scathing review and I'm getting kind of wordy here so here's the point.  I bought this product to try it out.  I wasn't impressed after using it exclusively for a full month.  I'm not really sure what I was expecting because I've never been a fan of tinted moisturizers.  I prefer more coverage.  For $12.99 on sale ($16.99 regular price) at Walgreen's I'm a little wary to suggest this products to friends, but, if you do like tinted moisturizers and tend to have dry skin, this may just work for you.

As for now, I'll just be using my BB Cream on my legs like my friend Jamie ended up doing with her Garnier BB Cream.

Today, on a whim, I decided to take the kids to The Butterfly House.  It's at a Saint Louis county park and it's a butterfly conservatory.  I've heard so many good things about it and how pretty it can be and since this month is 'March Morphos' we had to check it out.  March Morphos is a special time at the butterfly house in which the blue morphos butterfly hatches from it's gross little chrysalis thingie and flies all about the conservatory.  Such a beautiful, stunning butterfly.  It's really a sight to be seen.

Now, even though the weather was calling for a sunny 80 degree day it is of course pouring rain when we get to the park so we wait in the parking lot to wait it out for 10 minutes which was an eternity for a 2 year old.

So we get there and are looking at all the insect and spider displays in the museum. Oh joy!  A hissing cockroach display!  Hundreds of them in a huge Plexiglas display!  Some of them are placid and calm while others are running around, trying to escape their enclosure, crawling over each other in a frantic way and I'm plastered against the wall as far away from it I can get and still keep an eye on Henry.  Suddenly I am remembering just how real my fear of insects is.  Ohhhh boy.

Henry is done looking at the roaches, thank God.  Now we can go look at the pretty, pretty, effing majestic butterflies.  Except I forgot how non-discriminatory my fear of insects is, even the pretty, colorful, sparkly ones.  Yes, I'm even afraid of butterflies especially when they are flying around by the hundreds and landing on me.  I don't know if it was the tropical heat, the nervousness of making sure I didn't lose Henry in the crowd and also making sure we didn't step on any butterflies on the ground but at this point I am just trying to keep it all together.  Apparently Henry sensed my nervousness and he became frightened by the butterflies and insisted on being picked up.  So there I am in a hot and crowded indoor observatory carrying a clinging to my body 32 pound child and pushing an 8 month old down in a stroller down a stony path (read: I needed both hands which I did NOT have) trying to find a flipping exit because my boy is now yelling, "I wanna go home!  Fruit snacks!!  FRUIT SNACKS!" and since people are there to take photos of the beautiful and peaceful butterflies I am getting the stink eye from some of them.  Don't forget about the crushing a butterfly on the ground paranoia.  DON'T STEP ON THE BUTTERFLIES!!

But wait, there is more!

As we're walking out to the car I see that, yay (!) there is a really nice playground we can play on before going home.  We walk towards that instead of the car and it starts pouring on us.  Not sprinkling - raining hard.  Poor Lucy is alarmed and starts crying, I'm trying to get Henry on the path to the car and he's very upset that all the sudden he has to get in the car and not play on the playground so he's definitely not cooperating.  Finally we make it to the car, I load everyone up in their car seats and buckle them in, get my soaking wet self in the car and it's raining so hard I decide to wait it out for a while before we get on the highway.  So I feed Lucy her bottle, then she poops so I have to get back out of the car, in the rain, to give her a diaper change because I'm not about to let her sit in poop for the half hour ride home.  Finally we start our sad car ride home, in the pouring rain.

Eh, you win some, you lose some and I just can't stop laughing at this epic (failure?) adventure of the day.